smiles

So interestingly enough things intensify. Other parts just seem to be plummiting to a all time low. I can't seem to see the light no matter which direction I look. It's just dark. I have reasons to smile and reasons to look foward to another day, but being here is getting harder as the weeks go by. I don't see a glimmer of hope. All I can do is focus on the smiles.  All it takes is one person.

orange

The sigh has been sighed and the blood came rushing through. The obvious answer can be easily found. i refuse to believe the obvious and hope for a more creative ending.  Not one with dragons and nymphs,but one with the ending not expected a complete orange in a apple tree. I believe there is an orange out there and I may have found it. I will have to wait for the season to come to an end to see if the orange is special or if it is an altered state of normalcy for the future. 

past the trees

current actions make my heart beat quicken. in it for nothing then not in it at all. now my brain runs off into another direction just past the trees. i will never catch up as long as my heart feels like this.  one simple sound. a simple sound will make me sigh and the blood rush back to me. 

knowing

You speak to me everyday as if I've been there forever. Where we began and where we will end is something that will remain a mystery. Time invested and stories told. Knowing isn't the destination. knowing is just the road. I don't want to know your life...just to ask how your day went. It's a relief to listen. 

disappearing into walls

You are a constant negative factor in my everyday situation.
      I try to hold my breath and wait for it all to pass only with no end in site. I am stupid for letting you bleed me dry. I am stupid for stifling what is me to give you the light. Everyday seems deeper into the hole, not specifically drowning, but alone. I wonder. Wonder if I have caused this negative person or if they were there all along and I was to high to see. Like trying to see ants from a cloud. I have had the worst feelings in my bones lately. I just want to fall into the walls and be unnoticed...